a visiting we will go

Today D and I went visiting. V and Tobi were invited but decided to stay home. Actually V decided to stay home so I left Tobi with her to keep her company *snort*.

We visited my cousin and her two adorable boys. L is 2 and into everything. Chatting up a storm Today he learned my name mee-ah he would say as he tugged on my sweater and dragged me off to show me something. So adorable. D loves him and kept swooping him off his feet every chance she got. Baby J (7 months old) is one of the prettiest babies I have seen in a long time with stunning azure blue eyes and loooong lashes. I was feeding him his bottle and humming to him while rocking him. After he was done I burped him and he promptly began to snore softly on my shoulder. Sounds silly but I'm so glad that babies seem to thing that I am snuggly-sleepy-soft.

We had so much fun playing together, chatting, munching, singing, reading books, all good stuff. D was great, a huge help when J needed to be picked up or L needed his shoes put on, etc she was there and just did what needed to be done without being asked. When she's not being an adolescent drama queen she really is turning into a responsible, mature young lady, it made me so proud to watch her pitching in so gladly.

technology

Whoo boy technolog is taking over. For someone who used to make her living fixing networks and administering databases you would think I would love technology; you'd be wrong. I like it, don't get me wrong...love my dishwasher, like my computer, but I'm not a technogeek. I used to consider myself a geek but that was pre-itsy-bitsy techno pieces. Now I find myself surrounded and I'm perplexed.

I have a cell phone. I do like it, it has become indispensible for keeping in touch with kids, hubby, family, etc. In emergencies (and I have had a few) it has been a lifesaver. I would have a hard time doing without it.

I have a Palm given to me by my parents and my brother. I really like it a lot. I keep shopping lists, address book, calendar stuff on it. Even a few games and a couple of ebooks. But I confess that I long for my paper calendar. Don't know why, I guess I like the tactile feel of paper. But this year I am not buying one...should force me to focus more on my palm and learn to handle it better than I have been.

Now I have an iPod. I'm thrilled to have it because I should finally be able to catch up on all of my podcasts. Previously I had to download them, burn them to CD and could only listen to them when I was driving a certain car with a CD player. Those days are gone...iPod on the go baby.

And tonight I broke down and got skype. I shared my first skype call with my Uncle and it was so much fun to be able to talk with him and his daughter. I enjoyed catching up and sharing a few laughs together...as he pointed out, the price is right.

Technology is taking over and I'm beginning to wonder how much I will be acoutered with technodevices. I practically need a backpack to carry my wallet and devices, what if I lose one? I think we get sucked into these things. They're useful but we have to learn to use them as the tools they are intstead of feeling like they own us. It's hard to balance my desire for a more peaceful life, one where I can bake from scratch, raise fruits, visit the organic farm, etc with juggling all these small pieces of metal. Is this the challenge of the modern human? I don't know if completely denying onself the benefits of technology is advisable. Obviously others do, such as the Amish, but those of us who choose to live in a contemporary environment but have agro-luddite tendencies have a much finer line to walk. It is a balancing act and can be confusing at times. Hmmm.....more thoughts on this coming up later.

happy holidays

Indeed they were. We went to visit my in-laws and spent a lovely holiday with them. All the people, decorations, food, conversations, fun and more fun. It was wonderful to be surrounded by everyone on Steve's side of the family and enjoy this time together. Even the dogs had fun. The only drawback? We didn't have any snow.

The funniest gift exchange was between Steve and I. Totally unplanned we gave each other coordinating gifts (better than giving each other the same thing but close for odd coincidence). He gave me a new showerhead which has a mist control on it (for steaming without the steamroom) and I gave him a crescent shower rod (for the illusion of more space in the shower). He opened mine first, told me I would laugh when I opened his and indeed I did.

While we were at my in-laws we watched movies, played games (including one almost vicious three deck round of Uno -- won by yours truly), and talked, talked, talked. My sister-in-law and I knit together while chatting and catching up and there was plenty of pass-the-baby going on. Miss K graced me for her nap and it was a fabulous two hours of snuggle time. All in all a good emotional grounding of what the holidays are all about for me. I hope yours was similarly lovely and wonderful.

ho ho oh

Running out of steam over here. Some holidays items have been done, some haven't. As I mentioned in an earlier post this year is not quite as holiday-ey as others. I partially blame the lack of snow (very unusual for us) but most realize it's me. I'm not into the whole over-the-top thing. But now here we are a couple of days before Christmas and I'm feeling guilty and wondering if I should gather up a huge burst of energy and make it all happen. Then I think, um...no, because then I'll spend the next week lying on the sofa in a comatose state of exhaustion.

So here's what's done and undone in our house this year:

Goodie boxes made and delivered

Family gingerbread party attended and a wonderful time had by all

Holiday cards? Half written and mailed. The other half? I think they'll be Happy New Year Cards this year.

Tree? Not up

Wreath? Lying on the front porch about to go up...the dog ate the pinecones and ornaments off it but it still smelly pine-y and has a pretty red bow

Decorations? Minimal but there

Holiday music? Playing, actually this is one of the highlights, drinking tea and listening to this lovely music as I do my household chores every day

Presents? Just mailed the last of them yesterday, hope they get there in time. This one is the worst offense but hey, real life interferes sometimes

Other presents? not wrapped, hoping for a marathon wrapping sesson with Steve tomorrow before we head off to my in-laws on Sunday

Holiday spirit? Pretty good actually. I've done the most important things, am not screaming at my kids in frustration because the "holidays" are not getting froofed (this must be my new word I seem to be using it a lot lately), and I'm looking forward to spending a quiet and lovely holiday at my in-laws house. It's all good.

winter reading challenge

Yesterday was the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year. From this point forward we are on an upswing with more daylight minutes every day until the summer solstice. It was also the end of the Fall Into Reading challenge. How did I do? Here's the wrapup:

1000 White Women and Savannah Breeze, Every Mother Is A Daughter got read and reviewed (sort of).

The Historian and The Memory Keeper's Daughter? They never got read.

Other books I read during this time (but didn't review)?

Julie and Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen - It was okay but not great. The blog was better.

King Arthur Flour Whole Grain Baking: Delicious Recipes Using Nutritious Whole Grains - Wonderful! I loved this book, renewed it the maximum two times and then the library had to call me because it was overdue and someone else wanted it. The recipes were really good (the ones I tried), I learned a lot about baking with whole grains and am considering buying this book.

The Bread Bible - Another really great book. I love the way she writes, her explanations are simple and clear. I'm thinking about buying this one too.

The Eyre Affair - Recommended by someone else, sorry I don't remember who. Very cute, I liked it, an easy read with humorous twists on reading and books.

Lost in a Good Book (Thursday Next Novels) - I liked the first one so I read the second. The first one was better. Some of the plot devices got a little worn and I felt the story wasn't as good.


So basically I read two out of five on my list but read several others instead. Not too bad. Now it's time for the




sponsored by Seasonal Soundings. Here's my list...we'll see how well I do this time around:

The Historian - recommended by my sister-in-law, I've really got to read this.

The Memory Keeper's Daughter - Recommended by my aunt who is going to lend me her copy, I'm really looking forward to reading this.

Great Expectations (Penguin Classics) - I made myself a promise to start re-reading some of the classics. So I'll start with this one which I really liked when I read it 20 years ago. We'll see if I can still process all of the allegorical connections and subplots.

So this makes three books on my list. Not a lot but two highly recommended works of fiction and one classic. A good start.

What am I reading now? The United States of Arugula: How We Became a Gourmet Nation. I'm enjoying it very much. I like his style of writing, love the gossipy bits about the foodie world and am learning quite a bit about how our cuisine and food culture is developing.

Also reading Preserving Memories: Growing Up in My Mother's Kitchen my Mom's new book. I like the stories and recipes. She's a great writer, I have enjoyed all of her books and her website. I'm so proud of her and glad to have this newest book to put on my shelf.

What are you reading? Head on over to Seasonal Soundings and join in the reading.

candy candy candy

Every year we make boxes of goodies to give to friends and to distribute to the mailman, library, etc. What goes in the box is different from year-to-year but it's always fun to put it together. This is one traditional that seems to have survived this year of "less froofy" holidays.

Tonight S was the only one who wanted to work with me to make the goodies...the other two bailed (they missed out because it was a lot of fun). We made chocolate dipped apricots (4 pounds worth!), chocolate dipped pretzels and fudge. I also put some homemade gingersnaps into the boxes. Working together with S was so sweet (pun intended) and we shared a lot of giggles as well as getting a lot done; 42 boxes to fill!

We started at 6:00 after dinner. At 8:00 I stopped to watch A Christmas Carol, making candy and filling boxes during the commercials.

Starting tomorrow we have the pleasure of delivering, and we get to visit with our friends as we make our rounds.

wfmw - proofing bread

When making bread you need someplace warm and draft-free to rise or "proof" your bread dough. I put mine in my microwave oven. Works for me.

You can see other wfmw tips over at Shannon's place.

today

in history!!!

Thanks to Susan Wittig Albert of About Thyme I found out that today, December 19, in 1843 Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol was written.

The story is a wonderful one and I think just about everyone knows the basic premise from "Bah Humbug!" to "God bless us, everyone."

There have been lots of movie versions of the story made. My two favorites are, I confess, The Muppet Christmas Carol and A Christmas Carol with Patrick Stewart which happens to be playing on TNT tomorrow night. Can't wait to curl up with the kids, the dog, some hot cocoa with peppermint sticks and popcorn to watch.

gingerbread

Despite my bah humbug type previous post I have to confess that there are certain things about the holidays that make me happy. Today was one of those days. We went to a family gingerbread house building. Steve's brother and his family, his wife's brother and his family, his wife's sister and her husband, family friends and us. Lots of people and lots of fun.

We ate a lovely meal and then the kids got down to business making houses. Every year K makes house pieces, one house per kid (there were 9 this year). Everyone else brings decorations. I brought Captain Crunch cereal, colorful twizzlers, stripey morsels, spice drops, and pretzels. There were all sorts of other candies too. The kids have so much fun creating their masterpieces. It's wonderful to see how different all the houses come out. This year we discovered that pretzels glued together with royal icing make a great chimney.





This is what the holidays are about for me...friends, family, fun activities, wonderful food and conversation. Joy joy joy.

bummed

Just got back from going to see Eragon. I rarely pay to go to the movies and almost never go in the first week. This was an exception and one that I am sorry I made. I did not like the movie at all and found myself wishing it were over half-way through. The book was great and I highly recommend reading it. But don't bother with the movie.

My objections??

- They cut the heck out of the story. It was very choppy and they left out a lot of important pieces of information

- They relied too much on pretty landscape/scenery shots that didn't really contribute to the story

- There was almost no character development. If you hadn't read the book you might be very confused about how certain people grew to their character/position/etc

- They took serious liberties with the storyline in order to have certain things (like Saphira's development) happen within the timeframe allotted

- There was no real sense of conflict or urgency to the storyline because of the way the movie was chopped up

I'm so disappointed because the story provided great material to work with and the movie really fell flat. I went with S, her two friends, V, her two friends, D and her friend. No one liked the movie and all but two of us had read the book (V and one of her friends had not yet read it). One of the kids pointed out that if someone saw the movie first they would not want to buy the book because the movie was so bad. That's bad. My advice? Save your $9.50 and don't go.

do i see a tree

It's the holiday season and all around me are lights and wreaths and bangles going up. In our neighborhood there is a plastic santa that seems to be on the move...he travels from lawn to lawn without any apparent warning.

One friend has eleven five foot trees that she puts up every year. Eleven!! One is a Wizard of Oz tree, an angel tree, a pink tree, a valentine tree, a gold tree. They're all over the house. Another friend of mine is so worried that she doesn't have enough decorations (her house was exploding at the seams last year but that was then...maybe the house grew in the last year). The malls are crowded, people seem very stressed and overwhelmed and in many ways unhappy.

While I am looking forward to Christmas I'm looking forward to the getting together with family part. I've put up a few decorations, I have gotten out the christmas tablecloth, I've put on the christmas music, but somehow I find myself not that into the whole overcommercialized oversaturated marketing hype. I think the fact that I have been seeing christmas c**p in the stores since before halloween and listening to christmas carols and seeing ads for it since before thanksgiving has taken away much of the joy of the season. It's supposed to be about friends and family and gratitude. Not about presents and money and greed.

I've gone so far as to think that I may not even put up the tree this year. String up a few more decorations, put up the stocking and call it a holiday. Simpler, more peaceful and less stressful.

Actually this brings me to the realization that I am thoroughly overwhelmed and fed up with all the overcommercialized holidays. The halloween "villages" that they sell now for decorations? You're supposed to buy all of this overpriced stuff to put it up for a few weeks and then find room to pack it away until the next year? No wonder we are buying bigger and bigger houses, we're taking on too many possessions. Thanksgiving, Easter, Fourth of July, all of this is moving away from a rememberance day or a day of special celebration and becoming an excuse to buy more junk. I feel like an oddball for being one of those who doesn't participate but I want out...don't want to do this overcommercialized overadvertized unquiet stress anymore.

We'll see if the tree goes up or not but I think it's definitely going to be a lower key, hopefully calmer holiday celebration in our family this year.

birthday boy

It's my baby brother's birthday!!!

Yippee!!!

victor borge dance of the comedians

victor borge - hungarian rhapsody #2

victor borge - inflationary language

It's amazing what you can find on the internet. I was watching a brief Victor Borge presentation yesterday and was reminded of how much I enjoyed his performances. Hope you enjoy it too.

st.lucia day

The above picture is special for so many reasons. First of all today is the birthday of my darling S. My first born. The one who gave me the blessing of becoming a mother. I'm so amazed at what an incredible person she is and just thrilled to be her mom. She didn't get breakfast in bed, although she deserved it, but she did get a birthday breakfast surprise with friends, lots of purple balloons, joyous hallooing, wet puppy kisses and presents. Not a bad way to start your day.

Today is also St. Lucia Day and this picture painted by my favorite artist Carl Larsson shows the Scandinavian custom of the oldest daughter in the house portraying Lucia with her crown of light driving the darkness away.

wfmw - phone lists

Time for another Works-For-Me-Wednesday, don't forget to see what other bloggers have to say.

We have a phone list that we post on the inside of the cabinet door next to the kitchen phone. It is divided into three sections. The top 2/3 is divided in half and then the bottom 1/3 (approximately). The top left is for friends, neighbors, etc. The top right is for doctors, services, utility companies, etc. The bottom third has lots of 1 x 2.5 inch boxes to write in new numbers. Every six months or so I take down the list and redo it, adding and deleting as necessary. All the numbers we need the most are right there, room to scribble and it's usually up to date. Works for me!

tackle-it-tuesday - christmas cards

Today my tackle is to finish my Christmas cards. I had started out with good intentions after Thanksgiving...do 5-7 a day and I'll be done by December 10th. Hah! Real life interfered as usual and I am waaaaaay behind. Hoping to catch up today because I need to get them in the mail. I send mine to Santa Claus, IN for a special Christmas cachet.

If you would like to see what others are tackling today or add one of your own visit 5 Minutes for Mom.

laundry dweeb

As several of you know I like laundry, well certain things about it anyway. I'm good at washing and drying, love to hang my laundry. The ironing and putting away...that's a challenge some days, even with two of my kids doing their own laundry these days.

Yesterday I went to visit a friend for lunch. She has recently started making her own laundry soap because of skin allergy issues. We have the same issues in our house but I never thought of making my own laundry soap. She gave me some to try. oh my goodness!!! this stuff works great and smells fabulous. I can't wait till I've finished the container of detergent that I have to make my own, I am definitely going to switch. I washed and hung sheets yesterday (it's unseasonably warm here and was in the 40's yesterday) and kept running out to smell the sheets they smelt so good! So fresh and clean, mmmmmmm.

As my friend said, "Can you imagine how nuts people will think to hear us gushing about laundry soap?" I don't care this is great stuff. Here's the recipe:

2 bars soap (Fels Naptha is called for but any soap will work)
1 C. Borax
1 C. Washing Powder

Grate the soap, cover with water in a saucepan,heat on low until dissolved.

Fill a 4-5 gallon bucket with hot water and add soap. Stir to combine. Add 1 cup washing powder and mix well. As it cools it will thicken, stir occasionally while cooling. May be used immediately. Use 1-2 cups per load.

juggling

V is learning how to juggle, one of the teachers at school is teaching a bunch of the kids during lunch. Yesterday she decided to demonstrate her prowess...with clementines. Luckily she didn't choose eggs because she's okay but obviously still learning.

Tobi thought this was GREAT fun as every time she dropped the clementines he chased after them and picked them up in his mouth, *yuck*. I had thought we could make juice out of them when she was done but the poor clementines were black, blotchy, misshapen and covered in dog drool...not very appealing.

christmas meme

Why do I like memes so much? I don't know I guess because they're mostly fun and goofy. Since it 'tis the season here's one for the holidays that came from a couple different sources:

1. Hot Chocolate or apple cider?

um....both?

2. Turkey or Ham?

turkey

3. Do you get a fake or real-you-cut-it-yourself Christmas tree?

It used to be real but we got tired of dropping needles, the cat drinking out of the water at the base, and are worried about our new puppy so it's artificial and pre-lit for the next 10 years (or as long as the darn thing lasts).

4. Decorations on the outside of your house?

No. We enjoy them but not enough to take the time to put them up. All our lights and decorations are on the inside except our wreath

5. Snowball fights or sleddin'?

snowball fights, definitely. But only if Steve is on MY team because he's the best shot.

6. Do you enjoy going downtown shopping?

No, no, no, no and no. In case you didn't get that...no

7. Favorite Christmas song?

oooh, that's a toughie but if I had to pick only one I would say Adestes Fidelis because that's the song I always remember hearing as a kid when my Mom would start baking fruitcake (scroll down to November 16).

8. How do you feel about Christmas movies?

I mostly seem to prefer the classics...the cartoon version of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", "It's a Wonderful Life", "Frosty the Snowman", White Christmas" and the like.

9. When is it too early to start listening to Christmas music?

Anytime before Thanksgiving

10. Stockings before or after presents?

Stocking as soon as you get up.

11. Carolers, do you or do you not watch and listen to them?

I adore Christmas carols and carolers. For many years we used to go out caroling but my kids no longer want to do that and it feels silly to go out by myself. Unfortunately no one else comes around otherwise I would gladly listen.

12. Go to someone else's house or they come to you?

We split it up

13. Do you read the Christmas Story? If so when?

We don't read any particular ones, we put out lots of books for people to read and enjoy. When the girls were little I would read a different chapter or story every night but they think they're too old for that now so we don't. I miss that time when we would all cuddle on the sofa and read Christmas stories.

14. What do you do after presents and dinner?

Jig-saw puzzles, drink tea, crack nuts, chat, relax

15. What is your favorite holiday smell?

I don't really have one unless it's fresh baking cookies...wait, that's anytime

16. Ice skating or walking around the mall?

No mall if I can at all avoid it. I like to send Steve if I really have to. Truthfully internet shopping has been a blessing in disguise.

17. Do you open a present or presents on Christmas Eve, or wait until Christmas day?

We always open one present on Christmas eve (and it's always a brand new pair of pajamas to wear to bed) and save the rest for Christmas morning.

18. Favorite Christmas memory?

S's first Christmas...she was so little and didn't even know what the holiday was about. Steve and I stuffed her into a Christmas stocking, it was rather silly but it was amazing to have this little gem of a person to share it with.

19. Favorite Part about winter?

How the snow blankets the scenery and makes it look so wondrous, all the trees and bushes, etc, decked in their winter finery.

20. Ever been kissed under mistletoe?

Yup!

If you're reading this you're next!

treadmill dance

My Aunt sent this too me, how cool. Wonder how long it took them to put this together. It's really fun!

wfmw - recipes

I have certain recipes that I use all the time. My mix-and-match muffins, the recipe for Irish Soda Bread, and several others. To prevent having to look them up all the time in various different places I made a copy of the recipe and taped it to the inside of a cupboard door with my baking supplies. That way I always know where it is and it is near the pans, vanilla, etc. Works for me.

If you want to read more good tips or contribute one of your own go see Shannon and her wonderful Works For Me Wednesday list.

cuddle bug

A friend of mine came for tea today and to let me play with her 9 month old son. He's grown so much since the last time I saw him (6 months ago) it's amazing. Tobi was VERY pleased to meet him. After all N's face was just at Tobi height and covered in all sorts of lucious baby biscuit *gag* crumbs mmmmm yummy yummy.

D accuses me of being a baby snatcher because I love to hug and cuddle them so much. I consider it my priviledge to give other Mom's a break and hold their child for them for a while. Unlike accusations that have recently flown I have absolutely no intention of having any more kids. My baby is an adolescent and I'm not interested in starting over thank-you-very-much. But I confess the fact that she has reached adolescence makes me appreciate how cuddle-able and sweet smelling babies can be.

Speaking of sweet smelling we had a rather interesting discussion at Stitch Sisters tonight. We were talking about, among other things, how wonderful babies smell. One woman remarked that her boys, 3 and 5, don't smell so sweet anymore; they smell like dirt. Another remarked that she wished that her boys, 13 and 16, smelled like dirt because what they smelled like now was not great. Another said that her boys, in their 20's, were out of the house but she hoped they smelled okay. Then someone shared that they had a family member, adolescent male, whose idea of freshening up was to throw his shirt into the dryer with some dryer sheets, put on fresh deodorant and he was good to go. Whoof!

Makes me glad I have girls. They may be messy but they loooove their showers!

poetry monday

Inspired by Dawn as well as Amy I decided to add some art and poetry to our Door of Learning.

The Door keeps growing; I confess that I do not keep up with it as much as I would like to. Originally I had thought every week. Now it's every two weeks and I'm thinking the one I just put up will have to suffice for the month of December.

In it's new incarnation the door has a picture by Georges Seurat and a wonderful poem by Anne Bronte as well as info about them. I chose this poem today because it's been a windy and blustery day and this one really spoke to me:

 

 

Lines Composed in a Wood on a Windy Day
by Anne Brontë

My soul is awakened, my spirit is soaring
And carried aloft on the wings of the breeze;
For above and around me the wild wind is roaring,
Arousing to rapture the earth and the seas.
The long withered grass in the sunshine is glancing,
The bare trees are tossing their branches on high;
The dead leaves, beneath them, are merrily dancing,
The white clouds are scudding across the blue sky.

I wish I could see how the ocean is lashing
The foam of its billows to whirlwinds of spray;
I wish I could see how its proud waves are dashing,
And hear the wild roar of their thunder today!

---

mmmmm, gives me shivers just to read it.

cookie exchange

Today was our annual neighborhood cookie exchange. I've been hosting it for five years now and it's a lot of fun. What I like the best is that it is not a "let's play Martha and impress the neighbors" kind of party. As I say in the invitation, if you don't have time or inclination to bake from scratch try whack-and-bake or buy cookies. What's more important is that you come.

This year we were very lucky, no duplicates; one year three people brought the same cookie! It was a small crowd with only 10 of us but lots of fun, chatting, munching, catching up with each other and taking a break before the crush of the holidays is upon us. My family is, of course, thrilled to have me host this since they love the different types of cookies that we get.

The rules are simple, bring a double batch of cookies, COUNT your cookies so you know how many you have, bring a container to get your hoard share home with, and come have fun.

I made gingersnaps (although I think they should be called ginger thins since they are not very crispy). It was the first time I had made this particular cookie and I didn't realize how many it made. I got 152 cookies out of a double batch, whew. The recipe comes from a dear friend who made them last year and then was gracious enough to share.

Gingersnap/thins
Melt 3 sticks of butter (no counting calories, this is the holidays)
mix together with 2 C. sucanat (or brown sugar)
add 2 eggs
add 2 t. baking powder, 2 t. cinnamon, 1 t. ginger, 1 t. cloves (I left out the cloves since my husband doesn't like them)
add 4 C. flour (I used fresh ground soft white so had to use 5 C.)

Let sit in fridge for 20 minutes while preheating the oven to 350 F

Make small balls, roll in sugar and bake on ungreased cookie sheet 8-10 minutes
let cookies sit 1-2 minutes on cookie sheet before transferring to cookie rack

The other cookies that we had this year?

turtle fudge chippers
peppermint candy canes
pecan nut balls
coconut macaroons (made by hand!)
brown sugar nut shortbreads
oatmeal lace wafer sandwiches
cocoa crinkles
haystacks
creamcheese jam triangles

We listened to holiday music and it spurred me on to dig out the holiday linens and books from the attic so I've got a bit of a start on the holiday decorating thing.

real men knit

I know some men in my life who don't want their sons to learn how to knit because they think it's not "manly" enough. I think that's silly. It used to be that knitting was exclusively reserved for men. Women spun and wove but only men knit. Somehow it has changed. My personal feeling is that it shouldn't matter what your gender is...if you want to knit, go ahead.